I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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