I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
