would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
