don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
