Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Are you with Adam and his vodka?

  (1-516): View more from New York

  Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued

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  (516): Are you with Adam and his vodka? (1-516): Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued http://tfl.nu/0qde
  Replies (29) Good night (4177) Bad night (570)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...

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  (206): On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on... http://tfl.nu/5u5y
  Replies (19) Good night (4232) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  My Vagina smells like Nemo again.

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  (651): My Vagina smells like Nemo again. http://tfl.nu/j13v
  Replies (29) Good night (578) Bad night (5219)
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  (707): View more from California

  you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!

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  (707): you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?! http://tfl.nu/ug5x
  Replies (17) Good night (3683) Bad night (617)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up

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  (502): I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up http://tfl.nu/gsij
  Replies (27) Good night (7509) Bad night (742)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do

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  (859): you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do http://tfl.nu/7olq
  Replies (5) Good night (5272) Bad night (1339)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.

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  (+44): We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies. http://tfl.nu/dl0c
  Replies (5) Good night (1270) Bad night (894)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.

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  (843): Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex. http://tfl.nu/rb17
  Replies (11) Good night (485) Bad night (1804)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping

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  (224): you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping http://tfl.nu/igay
  Replies (5) Good night (1839) Bad night (530)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.

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  (503): We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty. http://tfl.nu/32wc
  Replies (9) Good night (693) Bad night (1422)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.

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  (209): She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana. http://tfl.nu/10jo
  Replies (3) Good night (1878) Bad night (440)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.

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  (206): I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house. http://tfl.nu/11j4
  Replies (3) Good night (630) Bad night (1713)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.

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  (765): He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever. http://tfl.nu/9j5e
  Replies (5) Good night (1174) Bad night (855)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.

  (415): View more from California

  I still don't know how you've lived this long.

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  (925): I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time. (415): I still don't know how you've lived this long. http://tfl.nu/6ttn
  Replies (5) Good night (1057) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.

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  (816): It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do. http://tfl.nu/e4al
  Replies (17) Good night (855) Bad night (355)

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