Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(336): View more from North Carolina

walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.

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(336): walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life. http://tfl.nu/o34i

Replies (39) Good night (2014) Bad night (12677)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.

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(508): Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast. (508): PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail. http://tfl.nu/qbqn

Replies (29) Good night (5297) Bad night (719)
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(702): View more from Nevada

you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.

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(702): you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly. http://tfl.nu/rajr

Replies (11) Good night (4147) Bad night (928)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.

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(843): No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear. http://tfl.nu/va6s

Replies (47) Good night (4834) Bad night (761)
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(408): View more from California

I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?

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(408): I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access? http://tfl.nu/pvq3

Replies (27) Good night (5329) Bad night (1308)
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(254): View more from Texas

There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.

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(254): There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN. http://tfl.nu/m7t2

Replies (35) Good night (7304) Bad night (1544)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.

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(337): Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have. http://tfl.nu/wctv

Replies (30) Good night (1631) Bad night (6040)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often

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(412): the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often http://tfl.nu/iv13

Replies (25) Good night (4443) Bad night (1114)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.

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(203): she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever. http://tfl.nu/jt2o

Replies (8) Good night (6733) Bad night (840)
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(980): View more from North Carolina

I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!

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(980): I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!! http://tfl.nu/427k

Replies (15) Good night (2060) Bad night (1270)
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(254): View more from Texas

Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.

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(254): Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor. http://tfl.nu/w3ms

Replies (8) Good night (1768) Bad night (548)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up

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(843): I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up http://tfl.nu/n9q8

Replies (4) Good night (992) Bad night (539)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex

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(617): Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex http://tfl.nu/il5u

Replies (4) Good night (1190) Bad night (664)
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(313): View more from Michigan

You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink

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(313): You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink http://tfl.nu/6677

Replies (7) Good night (1813) Bad night (425)
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(229): View more from Georgia

Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.

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(229): Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time. http://tfl.nu/fz3l

Replies (2) Good night (557) Bad night (353)

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