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drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
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