Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  toast her oven

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  toast her strudel

  (248): View more from Michigan

  inspect her gadget

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  (248): toast her oven (1-248): toast her strudel (248): inspect her gadget http://tfl.nu/ri0n
  Replies (7) Good night (2500) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.

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  (212): They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning. http://tfl.nu/4eyl
  Replies (3) Good night (1479) Bad night (516)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan

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  (530): It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan http://tfl.nu/v151
  Replies (29) Good night (5131) Bad night (974)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it

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  (334): I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it http://tfl.nu/u4cv
  Replies (14) Good night (4960) Bad night (1107)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now

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  (708): We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now http://tfl.nu/mm02
  Replies (21) Good night (7104) Bad night (986)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date

  (845): View more from New York

  i guess it runs in the family.

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  (845): so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date (845): i guess it runs in the family. http://tfl.nu/gfn4
  Replies (6) Good night (5335) Bad night (962)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones

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  (985): It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones http://tfl.nu/0il5
  Replies (6) Good night (4880) Bad night (828)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?

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  (630): Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding? http://tfl.nu/gie6
  Replies (15) Good night (1769) Bad night (2474)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.

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  (864): Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/f6x3
  Replies (1) Good night (937) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.

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  (913): Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life. http://tfl.nu/36jh
  Replies (8) Good night (1897) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried

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  (781): I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried http://tfl.nu/enjc
  Replies (2) Good night (789) Bad night (1117)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.

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  (310): I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas. http://tfl.nu/mh99
  Replies (3) Good night (796) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole

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  (201): New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole http://tfl.nu/gxas
  Replies (4) Good night (723) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka

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  (732): I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka http://tfl.nu/793g
  Replies (4) Good night (570) Bad night (342)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time

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  (954): I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time http://tfl.nu/1q0v
  Replies (1) Good night (455) Bad night (238)

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