I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
