4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
