i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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