i can't believe i had my finger in that
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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