haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
