i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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