I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
