I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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