What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
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