Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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