laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
