dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
