We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
