he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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