Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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