I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
now i know why i became what i already was.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
