i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
