Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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