i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You're like the curious george of whores
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
