these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
