How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
