RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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