What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
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