Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
