batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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