Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Please don't give away my fajitas
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
