I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
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I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
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I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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