the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
