No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
