He is an equal opportunity slut.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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