she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
