I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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