After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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