Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I can't put those talents on a resume
Randomize
