Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
