You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
