There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize