Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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