and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
