I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
