Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
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