btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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