it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
