It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
