If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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