Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
nutella sex= disaster
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
