Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You can't special order awesome
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
