well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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