Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
