dude i'm inner monologue high
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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