She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
