playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
