hell yes lets make some ravioli
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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