im drinking this country out of the recession.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
