Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just cropdusted the office
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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