is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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