Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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