I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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