so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I party with great urgency now.
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