So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
