Just fell off a train. Bad.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
