My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
