This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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